


turn a little faster

by lestered (lgbtrobed)



Series: whistle while you work [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23242120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtrobed/pseuds/lestered
Summary: It’s a short ride up to the third floor and a slightly longer walk to apartment 39, all the way at the end of the hall. He clutches Luna’s carrier a little closer to his chest as he reaches the door, then promptly rolls his eyes at himself. He’s really about to ask a stranger to psychically analyse his cat. For fuck’s sake.or: the one where Dan’s a major skeptic until he meets a certain very endearing pet psychic.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: whistle while you work [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799599
Comments: 22
Kudos: 120
Collections: phandomficfests: escape from reality





	turn a little faster

“Absolutely not.”

Dan hears his mother sigh into the phone, a long-suffering sound he’s absolutely familiar with for his stubbornness - his problems with authority, his refusal to comply with well-meaning, reasonable suggestions. 

He doesn’t think a sigh is warranted here, though. 

“Would it kill you,” he can practically _hear_ her rolling her eyes, “to open your mind just a _bit?_ What if she’s emotionally distressed? Maybe that’s why the vet didn’t find anything.”

He glances down at the small, fuzzy, black head resting in his lap. Luna’s big yellow eyes blink at him as he smooths his thumb over the white patch above her nose, and he frowns. But he also huffs.

“I’m not paying some phony psychic lady to pretend to talk to my cat.”

Dan can picture her on the other end of the line, calm and patient and tired - because she’s his mother and she loves him, but also probably hoped that he’d be less of a high strung mess by the time he hit 28.

“Well, first of all, it’s not a lady. His name is Phil, and you don’t have to pay him. He has a real job and does this on the side.”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve taken Colin to this guy,” he sighs. He simply does not want to deal with the mental image of his beloved dog being subjected to a so-called psychic reading.

“No,” she replies, and he wonders how she’s keeping her tone so serious. As if she isn’t just being a massive troll. “But I’ve heard great things about him, and I’d be more than willing to take Colin if I thought he needed it. Laurie from the office says he’s a very nice young man.”

“Mum…” he says, because he doesn’t even know what to say at this point. He can feel himself deflating.

“You know,” she continues, as if he hasn’t just spoken, “she thinks he might be gay, too. He’s around your age, he’s handsome…”

“Mum!” he groans, feeling exactly fifteen years old as he fully slumps down on the couch, careful not to jostle Luna too much. His cheeks burn.

“Alright, sorry,” her tone is light and teasing. “Just thought you might like to know.”

He tips his head back against the couch cushion, closing his eyes and rubbing tiny circles in between Luna’s ears. She purrs. “You know, trying to set me up isn’t gonna go any better now than when you thought I was straight. So if that’s what this is about, don’t bother.”

Nice though, in a weird way, that she’s putting in an equal amount of effort.

She tuts. “Daniel, of course it’s not. Let me just give you his email, okay? Whether you contact him or not is up to you.”

*

Whether or not he contacts Phil is up to him, but not _really._ It’s really up to his mum’s persistence and his anxiety brain and the feeling of desperate helplessness that comes when something’s wrong with the tiny, vulnerable, precious life that depends on you alone and you’ve already exhausted all your logical solutions. That’s how he finds himself standing outside Phil’s apartment building on a very rainy Saturday morning, with Luna meowing angrily at him from her carrier. Rightly so; he should’ve brought an umbrella. And what the hell is taking this guy so long to let him in, anyway?

Finally on his third attempt at ringing, the intercom buzzes loudly and he pushes inside the second he hears the lock click open.

He’s in a nice part of London, which makes this whole thing feel a bit less dodgy. But literally just a bit. Because no matter how he spins it, he’s standing in the middle of an unfamiliar apartment lobby, on his way to meet an unfamiliar man that he’s emailed a grand total of twice and is deluded enough to consider himself a psychic. His mum having heard about him through a friend of a friend of a work friend or some shit does little in the way of reassurance. 

Also, he’s armed with nothing but an iPhone 11 and a slightly frail, albeit irritated cat. He could’ve at least bought some pepper spray.

“Luna,” he says as he steps into the elevator, lifting her kennel up to eye level. “If I die, I expect you to avenge me.”

She twitches an ear.

It’s a short ride up to the third floor and a slightly longer walk to apartment 39, all the way at the end of the hall. He clutches Luna’s carrier a little closer to his chest as he reaches the door, then promptly rolls his eyes at himself. He’s really about to ask a stranger to psychically analyse his cat. For fuck’s sake.

He resigns himself to the situation and sighs, lifting his arm and knocking on the door.

No response. 

Is this guy for real? First the intercom bullshit, from which his wet curls are now plastered to his forehead, and now this? He finds himself growing more aggravated with every passing moment, and he’s just about to knock again, this time much more aggressively, when he hears a faint noise on the other side of the door, followed by a voice.

“Sorry! Hold on, I’m coming, just a second!”

Dan drops his arm back down to his side. The voice sounds frazzled, at least. 

The door swings open a second later and all the anger and tension he’d been holding vanishes completely when he’s greeted with a pair of wide, apologetic blue eyes. 

“You must be Dan right? God, I’m _so_ sorry,” Phil ushers him quickly inside. “I swear, I didn’t forget you were coming, I just wasn’t paying attention to the time and I was so deep in an editing job, I didn’t hear you ringing at first. Oh God, you’re all wet. Can I get you some coffee? Or something else warm? I’m such a dick.”

Dan softens. A lot. Like, a genuinely ridiculous amount, if only because this guy is so freaking adorable. He’s almost as tall as him - a feat in and of itself - with pale skin and dark brown hair pushed back in a messy quiff, blue eyes and lips that look frankly, unfairly soft. 

He suddenly remembers his mum’s comment over the phone. _She thinks he might be gay, too._

Nope. Definitely not gonna go down that road. 

“It’s, uh,” he breathes out a laugh, running one hand back through his hair and setting Luna’s carrier down with the other. “It’s fine. If I could just hang this up somewhere?” He asks, shrugging out of his wet jacket and holding it up. At least his shirt had stayed dry underneath. 

“Yeah! Yeah, of course,” he takes Dan’s jacket off his hands straightaway, before pausing and glancing around. “Oh. I don’t have a coat hanger. Hold on, I’ll put it over a chair in the kitchen.”

He nods to Luna’s crate on the floor. “You can go ahead and let her out, if you want. Let her explore the place so she’s comfortable.”

“Oh,” Dan nods, kneeling down and reaching for the latch on Luna’s carrier as Phil heads back to what Dan assumes must be the kitchen. “Um, just so you know, she’s not great with new people,” he calls out. “And she hasn’t been feeling well, so that’s not been helping her mood, and…”

He trails off because as soon as he unlatches the carrier Luna bolts right out, heading straight in the direction that Phil’s just hurried off to. He stands up and follows her back, ready to apologize in case she’s on the hunt for trouble, but she’s not. Instead, he finds her happily perched on the breakfast bar, head tilted to the side as she nuzzles against the palm of Phil’s hand.

Phil looks up at him and smiles. “She’s sweet. You sure you don’t want coffee or anything? I already have some made.”

Dan blinks a couple times in surprise and then glances at the counter behind Phil. There is indeed a pot of coffee there, still steaming. It’s only then that he realizes the rain really did chill him a fair amount, and shivers. Still, he shakes his head.

“That’s alright. Thanks, though.”

While Phil might be off his rocker for genuinely believing himself to be psychic, Dan can’t deny that he’s awfully sweet. And hot. Very hot.

“Okay,” Phil shrugs, “if you’re sure.” He turns his attention back to Luna, giving her a couple scratches under her chin. “Anyway, very nice to meet you, Luna. How about we head over to the couch for a bit?”

Dan watches Luna hop off the breakfast bar and walk behind Phil as he heads out of the kitchen, following warily along himself.

It’s a cute apartment, as far as he can tell, though it’s the polar opposite of the carefully curated, minimalist monochrome aesthetic he’s got going on at his own place. Phil’s method of interior design seems a bit… less deliberate.

The floors are a pretty hardwood, but they’re covered patchily in colorful area rugs. The walls are a nice, clean off-white, but they’re cluttered with posters. _Muse, Buffy, Kill Bill, Final Fantasy_ … he has good taste, at least. The shelves are standard and unexciting, but Phil’s effectively jazzed them up with arrays of books and DVDs, framed photos and quirky knick-knacks. 

There’s a sock on the coffee table. 

As he sweeps his gaze over the lounge, his eyes linger for a second on the Totoro plushie sitting in the corner, propped up next to the Xbox. He’s got the same one - the plushie and the console. He thinks about saying as much for pleasantries’ sake, but thinks better of it.

There’s one thing that’s slightly strange about it, though.

“So, no pets of your own?” He asks, glancing around just to make sure he didn’t miss any signs of animal life. Nope. Seems that Phil lives here by himself.

“No,” Phil sighs as he plops down on one end of a cushy, brown suede couch. “I wish, but the landlord has a no-pets policy. So it’s just me and Norman for now.” Phil nods over to the opposite corner of the room, where there’s a large fish tank atop a sturdy-looking table. A bright blue-and-green betta fish flutters around inside. “Say hi, Norm.”

Dan watches Luna hop up next to Phil while he takes a seat at the other end. Phil looks at Norman’s tank expectantly, before frowning a bit and turning around to face Dan. “Sorry. He’s a bit shy sometimes.”

That’s when Dan remembers how ridiculous of a situation he’s actually in. Phil’s just tried formally introducing him to a fish.

“Right, so,” he says, both to change the subject and because Luna’s already taken it upon herself to climb into Phil’s lap, reaching up to rest her paw on his chest. Dan’s never seen her take so quickly to anyone before. “I’m worried because she hasn’t been eating. I took her to the vet and they couldn’t find anything wrong and said she probably just had a stomach bug, but it’s been days and she still won’t eat anything I try to give her.”

Phil doesn’t seem to be listening to him that intently. He’s focused much more on Luna, his head tilted to the side as he looks into her eyes, nodding slowly.

He clears his throat. “So, whatever it is obviously isn’t going away, and she can’t just _not_ eat, so-”

“She has a toothache,” Phil says calmly, giving her some little scratches under her chin before looking over at Dan again. “Does she bite when people try to go near her mouth? The vet might’ve missed it if it’s way in the back and she was being aggressive.”

Then he looks down at Luna again. “No offense. He should’ve asked first.”

Dan shuts his mouth and then shakes his head a little, because he doesn’t even remember if the vet had tried to look into her mouth, but regardless… _what?_

He says it out loud, too. “What?”

Phil looks back at him, eyebrows drawn together as if he doesn’t understand why Dan’s confused. “One of her teeth is hurting her. It must be pretty bad if she’s not eating. You might have to get it pulled.”

Very specific thing for him to pull out of his ass, Dan thinks. Still, he nods. He doesn’t know how else to respond.

“Um… okay,” he watches Phil smooth his hand over the top of Luna’s head. “How do you know that?”

Phil scoots back a little. “She told me. Didn’t your mum tell you what I do?”

Dan nods. “Yeah, I… uh. I don’t know. I guess I don’t know what I was expecting. Something… vaguer, maybe.”

“Oh,” a look of understanding dawns on Phil’s face and he smiles in what looks like… amusement? He’d be offended by it if it wasn’t so cute. “You don’t really believe in this kinda stuff, do you?”

He just rubs his hand over his forehead and sighs. “No, not really. I’m just desperate and have a very pushy mum who’ll believe in pretty much anything.”

It’s quiet between them for a moment, until Phil lifts Luna out of his lap and places her onto Dan’s. “Well, that’s sweet of you.”

Dan tilts his head to the side. “Sweet.”

“Yeah,” Phil nods. “That you’d go against your own beliefs and bring her to me, just on the off-chance that I could help her.”

He feels a blush starting to creep up into his cheeks. He doesn’t really know how to respond, so he’s kind of glad that Phil keeps talking. 

“Most people just totally brush me off when I say I can talk to animals like people. And like, I get it. That’s why I don’t charge any money, then it seems less likely that I’m trying to scam anyone. And, well... not going into editing would've been a waste of four years and a degree. I should earn money off of something that I actually have to work at, not just some weird ability I was born with.”

Dan manages to make eye contact again. Phil really does look genuine. And kind and sweet and cute. Has he mentioned cute? He can’t really help but smile.

“Anyway,” Phil stands up from the couch, “you don’t have to believe me or anything, but maybe just… take her back to the vet? Ask if they’ll check her mouth again? It couldn’t hurt.”

“...Yeah,” Dan feels strangely lighter as he stands up as well, cradling Luna in his arms like a baby. “Um… I think I will. Thanks.”

He chances one more look into Phil’s pretty blue eyes, just for a second. There’s a certain magnetism in his gaze that’s just a bit too much for such a casual encounter.

“Oh, hey, don’t forget your jacket,” Phil says as Dan’s loading Luna into her carrier again. Dan takes it, thanks him and pulls it on, bidding one last goodbye before heading out.

In the Uber on the way home, Luna sleeps soundly.

*

Luna does need a tooth pulled. Her lower third premolar, to be exact. 

Dan feels pretty shit about it, even when the vet tells him that tooth resorption is an extremely common dental problem in cats. That he’d done well spotting it as early on as he did; that she could’ve gone through a lot more pain had he not been such a caring, vigilant owner. 

He doesn’t have the heart to tell him that the real reason he’d brought her back so soon was because of a certain attractive psychic. 

The actual procedure passes by in kind of a blur. It’s expensive, but not unaffordable. There are no complications and she takes her medications and sleeps a lot for the next few days and Dan actually cries out of sheer relief when she finishes an entire can of wet food.

“Night, Luna,” Dan whispers to her as she falls asleep on his pillow a couple nights later. He watches her slow, steady breathing for a moment before heading out of the bedroom with his laundry basket. This particular load is long overdue.

He pauses just before he heads out the door to go to the laundry room, catching sight of his jacket on the back of one of his chairs. Could probably use a wash too, after having been out in the rain. He shrugs, picks it up and adds it to the top of his pile.

He’s just about ready to toss it into the washer downstairs when he notices one of the pockets is zipped where he’s pretty sure it hadn’t been zipped before. He unzips it and pulls out a slip of paper, unfolding it to reveal a phone number jotted down in a messy, dark blue scrawl.

_Hope everything goes well for you and Luna at the vet. Text anytime you need another reading. Or even if you don’t. Sorry if this is out of line, but my gaydar works about 50% of the time, and you’re cute._

_-Phil :)_

He giggles - actually giggles out loud to himself and quickly loads the rest of the laundry into the washer, shuts it, and sets the cycle.

Then he pulls his phone out of his pocket, biting back a smile as he glances at Phil’s number and opens up a new message.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! hmu on tumblr @lestered
> 
> reblogs are appreciated, you can do that [here](https://lestered.tumblr.com/post/613179848691695616/turn-a-little-faster-rating-g-wc-28k-its-a) <3


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